my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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