I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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