Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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