I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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