I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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