with your own penis?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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