...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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