Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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