Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
