I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
