New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
