oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
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