Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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