I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
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I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
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this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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