sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
