The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
The Olympian is in my bed
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
