So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
