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I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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