youre lurking in front of me
Too much gin, very little bucket
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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