So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
