Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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