But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
