I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
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He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
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I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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