Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
