You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
