Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize