hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
