so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
