It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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