i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
