It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
