Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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