if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
