Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize