Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
