i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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