I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Randomize
