He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize