i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
