When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
