I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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