he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
