Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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