i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
