Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
