I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
