I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Drunk is not a location!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!