im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
