ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
