Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize