i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
How external is "for external use only"?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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