I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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