I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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