it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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