billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
