We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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