How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
