okay pat passed out under dana's car
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
