its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize