I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
