are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
