It was confusing and full of hummus
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
