You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
