She said her name was "party"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
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I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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